I finally
got a plane ticket to get back to Baby Blue in Lima. I
will be driving from there into Chile. Chile is a long
narrow sliver of a country. About 3000 miles long and
mostly less than 200 wide. What strikes me are the many
levels of latitude that makes up the country and what
diversity I will to find just in weather alone, from northern
desert all the way down towards the South Pole.
In my efforts to organize my departure, I am aware of
the many layers and levels of my psyche that push and
pull and squeeze me in different directions. I certainly
am feeling the squeeze at the moment. Pulled by my desire
to create something out of my life. Pushed to simply enjoy
the experience. Compelled to create a home for myself
and simultaneously pulled from that home to create something
on the road. All of these forces combined seem to keep
stuck under the covers.
I can't speak for the inside of anyone else's life but
I am often amazed that I am able to accomplish anything
in my life (much beyond getting out of bed) given the
conflicting parts of my personality. Phew. I am sounding
overly dramatic. Almost to the point of parody. It would
be funny if it weren't so real to me. Could somebody please
point all of these parts of myself in the same freakin'
direction for a few moments? I look back at my journal
as if someone else wrote it. Who was that person? How
was he motivated to do what he did? Where is the clarity
to just get up and GO? What does he really want to do
right NOW? This is just another "Why Am I Doing This"
Part Three? Or is it Four? OK. This is part of my ritual
of getting back on the road. I'll get over it. |
