I read more of "Joy's Way" this morning, finding out the actual impetus for his journey. Different than mine, but some parallels are there. Folllowing an inner voice without knowing the exact destination... After reading for a while, I had an urge to interact with my teachers and meditate. The teaching had to do with a similar dynamic that occurred recently in Cuba and again in San Salvador. In Havana, my buddy introduced me to his niece. 28 years old, very pretty, friendly and sexy! And it didn't take long for her to let me know that she was attracted to me! In spite of all this, there was a tiny little voice inside my head that said "No!" No to what, I'm not sure. No, she's not "The One"? No, don't get involved?? I got involved. There was chemistry between us but we did not get intimate. At least for the time being.

I left Havana to travel with my buddy. In a very small town, the home of my buddies' father, I met another sweetheart. A big voice inside my head said "Yes!" I was overwhelmingly attracted to this girl. We were in a disco with loud music but we managed to communicate a little. But mostly we danced. At the end of the night she was leaving with her friends and I asked for her phone number. She wrote down her address and asked her friend how to say and write "I Love You" in English. What she wrote wasn't even close, but I got the message!

The next day on my way out of town I saw her waiting for a bus. I was very excited to see her but the ethusiasm did not seem to be returned. We chatted for a moment, then as we parted, I said, "I have your number." She replied, "And I have yours." It left me with some hope. When I arrived back in Havana, I planned to call her and arrange another visit, but I realized there was no phone number on the card! Only an address and 'I Love You!' Did she not have a phone or had she forgotten in her attempt at her message in English? It was a long way back without a call for confirmation. What to do? Meanwhile, I reconnected with the niece in Havana and had a great time! But in the back of my mind, I wanted to find my way back to the other. Time and money were running out and I stayed with what was convenient. In San Salvador the same thing happened with a different cast of characters. I chose ease and convenience over what I really wanted. And I used other people's feelings as an excuse not to follow my instinct and go after what I wanted. That certainly was a lot of words to describe a rather instantaneous experience. But hold on, there's more to come in a different area of my life...